Doesn't Deserve It
by Elfprinzess
Summary: He would take on all the knights' chores despite only being the King's manservant because he didn't deserve their kindness or friendship, nor did he deserve less work or a break. He lies to them all with every breath, every word he says. He was a liar and a traitor to them.


**Another drabble that I found on my computer and I thought I would share it :)**

**I don't own Merlin**

* * *

When all the fighting was done, and the enemy was defeated, the knights would always sit up all night; celebrating, mourning or a mixture of both. They'd sit around with a skin of ale, passing it around to share and telling tales of the fallen, or boasting of victories. They'd joke, cry, laugh and survive together. Gwaine would always have the most ale with him, and would share it. Percival would know the most stories. Elyan would tell the most jokes, laughing loudly to cover his grief. Lancelot would be quiet, but respectfully mourn the passing of a fellow fighter. Leon would sit by the King and be a silent shoulder for the blonde man. Arthur would take every loss personally and blame himself, knowing everything about the fallen soldier and remembering it all.

Merlin would always sit alone. They'd invite him, but he always declined. He didn't deserve the invitation. It would be an insult to sit there and mourn the passing of a man he could've saved if he had had the guts to say 'screw the law' and get up and use his magic. If he could've been able to cast a spell and heal them, or even cast a spell and stop the enemy before Camelot's men had to fight, he could've saved all of them.

He would get up the next morning, delivering Gaius' hangover remedy to all the knights and Arthur, clean their rooms and polish their armour before spending all day cleaning their weapons of the enemy's blood. He'd deliver them their food, taking on all the jobs despite only being the King's manservant because he didn't deserve their kindness or friendship, nor did he deserve less work or a break. He lies to them all with every breath, every word he says. He was a liar and a traitor to them.

A week later they'd be on a hunting trip and they'd be eating the dinner Merlin prepared, taking seconds and thirds before he could eat and they would finish the food. Merlin never complained because why would he? He didn't deserve their food or help, he was a monster, a freak. They would all set up their beds around the fire, leaving him outside the ring in the cold, but it was only what he deserved. They would expect all the chores, setting up the fire, feeding and cleaning the horses, preparing dinner, everything to be done within minutes, with only him doing it. And he would get it done, or face the teasing and insults and punishments without question, because he could never repay the debt he has to the dead and the living.

In the end, Gaius told Arthur. When he saw his ward stop eating, shrink into himself, do everything without question and never seemed to stop or take a break, working himself until he was only skin and bones, he stepped in and asked the Prince for a private word. The knights as well. All of them sat in Arthur's room, listening to the story that Gaius told, as Gaius told them of all that Merlin had been through, the truth about Merlin and his magic. He told them how he heard Merlin's screams at night from the nightmares, how he watched as his ward slowly lose who he is, who Merlin is, and how he could no longer stand by and do nothing.

The knights sat in silence, in shock, while Arthur stood and walked out the doors. Gaius followed the Prince, and the knights followed Gaius, and they all ended up in Gaius' room, watching as the Prince approached Merlin, who was sitting on the bench, cleaning armour. The knights could see what Gaius meant, could see the dark shadows under the boy's eyes. The haunted look in his face and the starved appearance he gave off, bones sticking out as skin was stretched tightly over them, no muscles, just bones. If it weren't for the movement of the secret warlock, and the open eyes that were blinking at them in confusion, the boy could've been mistaken for a corpse, he had no colour and no life in him. The knights watched as Arthur knelt by the servant, who immediately protesting, his claims that royalty shouldn't kneel to servants fell on deaf ears as Arthur whispered the words that would decide the boy's fate.

"I'm sorry Merlin. I'm so sorry I didn't realise, that I didn't see, that you felt like you couldn't tell me. I'm sorry."

Merlin looked up at the knights and at Gaius who nodded once, and said, "I told them, my boy, it was time."

Merlin turned back to Arthur and gripped his arm, trying to get the Prince to stand.

"Stop it Merlin, you deserve this, you've sacrificed so much for me and my kingdom, you deserve some sort of thanks.

It was only later, after the knights, Arthur, Gaius and Merlin had had dinner together, all listening to Merlin as he told the truth behind every story, every tale that had happened at Camelot, that Arthur realised what Merlin had said under his breath. They had all retired for the night, and Arthur was laying in bed, trying to sleep, but was unable to get the thought out of his head. Arthur had told the boy he deserved his thanks and the boy had muttered he didn't. Arthur rolled off of his back and onto his side. He stared into the darkness, silently vowing to do everything possible in his power to make Merlin realise how wrong he was, how much he did deserve thanks and gratitude and respect. Arthur vowed not to stop until the boy realised just what he did deserve for his actions, deeds and sacrifices.

* * *

**End**


End file.
